Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
your like the ambassador to my penis.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
