Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
