She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
