oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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