playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
