whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
