Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
