tell your sister to shave her snatch
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
