So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I need to calm my uterus...
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
