Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
