if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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