Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
