i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
