Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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