I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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