I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I got inside last night via doggy door
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
