This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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