I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
PANTIES FOUND
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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