You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
