it hurts more in the daytime
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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