..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Randomize
