So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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