It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
