the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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