Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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