There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
