Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
