Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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