guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
