in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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