Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
