I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
