Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize