Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
