so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
This is my gift to your gina
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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