...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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