Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
