I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
my poor anus
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
