someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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