I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Randomize
