But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
