I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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