Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
