I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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