i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
