drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
