Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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