Yo dont text me then not text me
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
