I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
