Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Randomize
